the positive

so, while i’m feeling positive this morning i thought i had better go ahead and write a post! these are some positive things that i have thought of lately regarding the lengthened wait: (warning, some are materialistic)

1.) i’m learning to pray more

2.) i’m developing friendships with other waiting mamas

3.) i was able to take a promotion at work

4.) we will be able to save more money

5.) my “toddler” shower will likely be in the summer now and i can wear a cute dress without having to cover it up with a sweater

6.) MAYBE (doubtful, but you never know) max will have started with potty training

7.) HOPEFULLY we will be able to finalize the adoption in Korea (d/t supposedly changing laws effective july, 2012)

8.) i will have more visits home to visit my family solo before the adoption “cocooning” period begins

that’s all i can think of right now… anyone have anything to add to my list? ūüôā

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will stop being negative soon

this adoption process is not getting any easier. ¬†we’ve now been waiting 9 and a half months since first seeing our son. ¬†i’m definitely feeling overdue. in fact, i just counted, and next tuesday will put us at 42 weeks of waiting. if i was pregnant the medical professionals would definitely be doing an induction.

while our time waiting has increased (and i feel almost proud or like we achieved something by getting through such a long wait)– the countdown is going in the wrong direction. ¬†recently we thought we only had another 4-5 months left of waiting, however, the korean government has slowed things down, yet again, and we are now thinking we will be waiting another 7-9 months before we can bring him home… and that’s if they resume processing adoptions in february. sigh.

my expectations of bringing home a 14 month old were adjusted to bringing home a 20 month old and now i feel like we’ll be *lucky* to bring him home before his second birthday. ¬†sigh again.

needless to say, i’ve not been the most joyful person to be around lately. ¬†my lack of joy is probably related to let down after let down…. expectations that have not been met… realizing my lack of control and inability to do anything. ¬†and it’s sad because i want to be an advocate for adoption, but wow… it’s hard.

i hope my negativity hasn’t made anyone feel worse… especially my fellow waiting mommas who i know are reading this. ¬†sorry girls… my new estimated timeline isn’t official… it’s just me speculating based on this lack of movement. (my calculations are based on the resuming of EP submissions in february with one batch per month with 4-11 weeks from submission to travel.) hopefully we’ll all be pleasantly surprised and they’ll process multiple batches per month and send our kids home sooner rather than later. it could definitely happen.

i’m going to try to have an attitude adjustment. ¬†i will start focusing on the positive soon. ¬†i will probably start blogging more and intentionally focus on things to be thankful for. ¬†but this month i’ve just allowed myself to grieve for the loss of being able to hold, know, shape and bond with my baby in his first two years of life.

what i’ve been doing…

here’s what i’ve been up to lately..

i’ve almost finished this book (for the second time):

i’m making my way through this one:

i’m on day 8 of this:

INSANITY¬ģ Package

i’m on day 15 of this 90 day Bible study:

Paul: 90 Days on His Journey of Faith [Book]

i made one of these for max (for after he arrives home):

101 Toddler Activities

i collected wood to make these blocks:

Pinned Image

i’ve started to collect ideas for max’s bedroom…

Pinned Image

…and for his future playroom as well.

play room

we *only* have about 6-7 months left to prepare for the arrival of our toddler!