this adoption process is not getting any easier. we’ve now been waiting 9 and a half months since first seeing our son. i’m definitely feeling overdue. in fact, i just counted, and next tuesday will put us at 42 weeks of waiting. if i was pregnant the medical professionals would definitely be doing an induction.
while our time waiting has increased (and i feel almost proud or like we achieved something by getting through such a long wait)– the countdown is going in the wrong direction. recently we thought we only had another 4-5 months left of waiting, however, the korean government has slowed things down, yet again, and we are now thinking we will be waiting another 7-9 months before we can bring him home… and that’s if they resume processing adoptions in february. sigh.
my expectations of bringing home a 14 month old were adjusted to bringing home a 20 month old and now i feel like we’ll be *lucky* to bring him home before his second birthday. sigh again.
needless to say, i’ve not been the most joyful person to be around lately. my lack of joy is probably related to let down after let down…. expectations that have not been met… realizing my lack of control and inability to do anything. and it’s sad because i want to be an advocate for adoption, but wow… it’s hard.
i hope my negativity hasn’t made anyone feel worse… especially my fellow waiting mommas who i know are reading this. sorry girls… my new estimated timeline isn’t official… it’s just me speculating based on this lack of movement. (my calculations are based on the resuming of EP submissions in february with one batch per month with 4-11 weeks from submission to travel.) hopefully we’ll all be pleasantly surprised and they’ll process multiple batches per month and send our kids home sooner rather than later. it could definitely happen.
i’m going to try to have an attitude adjustment. i will start focusing on the positive soon. i will probably start blogging more and intentionally focus on things to be thankful for. but this month i’ve just allowed myself to grieve for the loss of being able to hold, know, shape and bond with my baby in his first two years of life.